Sunday, February 6, 2011

A Very Sad Fish

We took 4 days off of work while waiting for and having my miscarriage.  We both work at the same school so everyone was really understanding and accommodating when we told them why we'd be gone.  A lovely co-worker made sure my sub was set up and Ian's wonderful aides took care of his class while he was out.  It was nice not having to worry about work while we were worrying about everything else.

We decided to go the Arizona Sea Life Aquarium because we had coupons we needed to use and I thought it would cheer us up.  Ian loves fish and the ocean and we thought it would be less crowded on a Wednesday than if we tried to go on the weekend.  We didn't consider that there would be moms on maternity leave with new babies, grandmas with grand kids and stuffed animals galore that would wouldn't be buying for our blueberry.

We had heard that the aquarium was way too expensive for what it was so we had to see for ourselves.  Our overall view was that it was pretty awesome, not as amazing as the Sydney Aquarium in Australia, but pretty great for an aquarium in Arizona.  Before you go in they take your picture and then photoshop it over some crazy aquarium background.  At the time we were pretending to be "ok" so we posed for our picture, not thinking we would actually buy it for $8 at the end.  Then, you go in and kind of snake through a bunch of different rooms, with a bunch of different fresh water and salt water fish.

Our favorite room was definitely the stingray room with almost a full circle tank filled with stingrays and what looked like catfish type sharks.  It's hard to tell how big any of the fish really are because the tanks are always rounded and some are magnified so that when you stick your head inside the bubbles they have for you to view from, the fish get either smaller or larger.  It's kind of disorienting because I'd like to just see the fish as they are, but kind of cool because if they are little you can see them bigger.  The stingrays came up to talk to us and flapped against the surface with their smiling little faces, they were so cute!  Here is us in the stingray "bubble" (a crawl space for kiddies to stick their heads in like they are in the water with the fish):

There was also a big room with a full circle built into the wall with a school of fish just swimming around and around.  The fish weren't that cool but here's us in the bubble in that room:

We didn't take a lot of pics because we weren't really in that sort of mood, so these are all we have.  Maybe we will go back sometime and take more.  I saw a lot of people taking pictures but then they went home with a bunch of pictures of fish and what do you do with those?  Boring!  My favorite fish were these little 80's looking ones that were hot pink and bright yellow and sometimes bright purple.  Totally 80's and super cute, just swimming around.  Ian like puffer fish and they look so nice (we've never seen one puffed up in person) so he had to say hi to all of them.

My favorite part of the aquarium was also my favorite part in Australia - the seahorses.  How do they propel themselves around with just that little fin?  Who the heck created these little guys?  They are really wonders of nature, so so cool.  I saw some black ones, some huge ones and some pregnant daddies - it was so much fun.  At this point, Ian got a little sad because he was thinking of all the beautiful things that blueberry would never get to see. 

By the time we got to the end (and had spent the whole time weaving through grandkids and baby strollers) we had had enough.  There is a huge jungle jim before the gift shop and there were tons of kids crawling all over it and moms watching with babies in strollers down below.  It just broke our hearts and we knew we had to get out of there.  The gift shop was also sad, seeing all the baby stuff and stuffed animals, thinking how we would have bought something for blueberry if we would have come while I was pregnant.  This is when Ian had to leave, he got really really sad.  We walked out to the car and sat and cried, holding each other.  It was the toughest day for him, he was a sad little fish all night.

So, a day I thought would make us feel better, made us feel worse.  I think it just solidified what was happening to us and how we used to be a part of something and now we are without.  It had only been 2 days since it happened, and now that I look back maybe we should have waited to go.  I just thought we needed to get out of the house, but really we should have just stayed home. 

Oh, and what was the dumbest thing I did that day?  I bought our stupid picture (for some reason) and now we have to remember how sad it made us forever!  What was I thinking?!

(What is my hair doing?!)

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