0 - The number of times I've been unexpectedly pregnant until now. Ha.
37 - My age. I never thought I'd be having a baby at 37 and am aware that it is still fairly "young" in baby baking terms, but man I feel like an old, pregnant lady. All of you young ladies, start making babies earlier!!
1 - The amount of kids I decided I wanted, after realizing I was 2 days late and proceeded to freak out the entire 2 days until I took a test.
6(+?) - The number of times I've cried about being pregnant, both happy and sad tears. Like a said, it was a shock to us, something we totally weren't prepared for. But, are you ever really prepared for a baby?!
8 - The amount of weeks it took me to come to terms with the fact that we are having another baby, and doing this all over again. Now, I'm excited!
2 - The number of days it took me to recover from shock after receiving a phone call with the results of my blood test with the news that we are having a boy. A boy?!
As you can see, ever since my birthday weekend (the end of September) we have had a secret and it has just been a whirlwind. I was up at night for most of my 1st trimester worrying about money and insurance, seriously why do money woes even have to factor into having another baby? It's the worst!
I am excited for Lemon to have a sibling, something I never had, and wished for a sister for her, just because I always wanted a sister myself. I am also old, tired and am feeling super unprepared to shop for boy clothes, buy boy toys and chase after a boy - I just want to take a nap. But, he's coming, and I am coming to terms with the thought of having a tiny boy in our pretty girly, princess filled house (that Lemon has obviously taken over with toys). And Lemon, oh Lemon, every time we talk about baby she calls it her "sister," and yesterday when I told her that it may be a boy she said "No, a sister." Well, it looks like she'll just have to get used to the idea too. :)
I learned, through my miscarriage, that you can't control anything in this life. Nothing at all. Then I seem to have forgotten that, because I was floored when I found out I was pregnant this time around, again, trying to control a situation I obviously have no control over. Then, when we got the call from the doctor about our baby boy, I was again overwhelmed and shocked (when really, nothing should shock me anymore). The universe threw us for a loop once again.
There is a plan for us in this life and sometimes we have no idea what it is. Two teachers with not a lot of money and horrible insurance (for having a family, great for individuals) are adding another baby to the mix, and it wasn't in my plan but it was definitely in the stars for both of us. I truly to believe that I was meant to be a mom of two, a girl and a boy, and we will just figure it all out, because the universe decided this path for us. And, don't parents just always seem to "figure it out?" I feel like that should be the tag line of parenting - "We just figured it out." Haaaaaa.
And you do, you just figure it out. I could go back and read all of my posts from when I was pregnant with Lemon - how nervous I was, how I didn't know what to do, even when she got here. But, we figured it out and raised an awesome kid. And, we'll do the same with our little man, he was, in fact, planned, just on another level.
I just have to learn to let go - why haven't I learned this yet? I am a Libra, I blame my astrological sign, it's hard for me to be spontaneous and accept change. But, I am also an optimist and know that our family can do anything, together. So, everything that the universe gives us, we will make it work, we will figure it out. You can too in your life, let's just stop stressing so much about things, even big things. These big things will work themselves out, just like the little ones we worry about too. I need to practice this more and I bet you do too.
Anyone else have a fun, surprise pregnancy story to share? I'd love to hear yours!
Oh darling, I am happy for your family, this is going to be one exciting adventure.
ReplyDeleteSo many of my own emotions mirrored in this post Allison, I was surprised not only with Didi's pregnancy at 39, but imagine it happening again at 42! (And giving birth to Ryker two weeks before my 43rd birthday 😱)
I definitely felt old, especially with all the suggested, and mandatory tests needed when pregnant at "advanced age" 😒
I know how scary it is, to try and map it all out, and have it all figured out for another little person added to the fold. But you do figure it out, and a day will come where you couldn't even imagine your life without them.
They are a wonderful blessing, and a reminder to slow down, and to enjoy this ride called life.
We added #2 in August. I had just turned 38, and I never imagined I would have two kids, two years apart, in my late thirties. It's harder the second time around, and there are SO MANY FEELINGS related to adding #2 (time for the first, how quickly it all goes by, how I never want to be pregnant again, how the universe really does have plans for us that we can't control) but all I will say is that #2 is the baby I never knew I wanted but can't imagine life without her. She completes our family, and I truly feel like her old soul has always been with us. Wishing you the best!
ReplyDeleteLemon is going to LOVE her baby. I really doubt she will care that he is a boy, at ALL, trust me. They are going to balance each other so well, you will look back on these days of worry and feel like 'hey, we figured it out! And it's mean to be.'
ReplyDeleteI bet you are going to love dressing little man, too, and it might shock you how fun it is! I wish we lived closer and I could give you a LOT of little boy clothes....well, the warmer weather stuff I have at least;)
I hear you on the energy needed for two kids. You'll get there, though. Baby boy won't need a lot of 'boy' toys for a long time. You won't have to chase him around any more than a baby girl, not for awhile anyway. Maybe he will be super chill anyway, you never know!
Now Lemon gets to stay the princess and won't have to compete with another frills and pink-filled babe.
I *am* a little bummed you probably can't name him 'peach' though. Hmmmmm....
Embrace it, mama. This is going to be amazing!
I don't ever leave comments but I have to tell you how happy I am for you and your family. I started following you when I stumbled across a pic of that beautiful little girl with hands down the best name ever! I continued to follow you because I truly admire the way you and your husband parent. It's so refreshing to see people genuinely in love with their child. You will be amazing parents to a little boy as well. Boys are so much fun and unbelievably sweet! I didn't have any surprise pregnancies but I did get my surprise baby. I am the mother of 4 sons. The littlest 2 are adopted and I was done, so happy with my guys and feeling old at 39! The shock of my life time came 2 weeks before Christmas 2013 when the social worker called to say a sibling to my youngest was born and will we take her...HER!! My yes was instant but that didn't mean I wasn't in shock and scared to death to have a girl after 16 years of rocking the boy mom life. Turns out she is everything I never knew I always wanted. Congratulations to you guys. You're little guy is so lucky to get you as parents!
ReplyDelete