Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Dear Lemon

As I write this you are napping, something I wish I could do with you but lately if I try to nap when you nap - you don't nap and then we are both up!  I miss your two hour naps which seem to happen less and less these days.  I think you are just having fun figuring out the world around you and are too busy and excited to sleep.  I used to feel this way too, in my 20's, but now it seems like all I want is sleep!  ;)

I can't wait until you want to cuddle with us.  Right now you are just so wiggly and "up" when we are tired so it's hard to just squeeze and cuddle you.  One day soon we will all be able to nap and cuddle together, just like when you were a squishy newborn, it will come sooner than I think I bet.  You are working so hard when you are awake now, taking everything in - especially the pictures of mommy and daddy on the wall, the dogs and all of the fabrics/colors of your blankets/pillows.  You are getting so strong, holding your head up and sitting in your bumbo, you are such a big girl.  You still hate tummy time but are getting so good at lifting your head up when you get mad and start to kick.  You even have this new back bend thing going on (you do it while I'm nursing you too), where you arch your back and lift both your legs (kind of like locust pose in yoga!).  This will eventually propel you over from your tummy to your back and you are so close!  Speaking of those legs, they are so strong, when you get mad (because I have to stop and burp you while eating) you stand all on your own and we can't bend your legs, no matter how hard we try.  Your reflexes are nuts and when I try to cut your toenails you do the same thing with your toes, I just can't bend them!

(Watching Snow White and the Huntsman.  She only "watched" for about 2 minutes and then got bored.  I know all of the facts about not letting my infant watch TV, don't judge!  The back of her head was just so darn cute!)

You are getting better at sleeping and your night time routine is getting more comfortable for all of us.  You don't need to eat constantly at night (and don't act like you have to) and you let us take you for a walk and give you a bath without acting like we are starving you.  You are going to bed before 9pm every night and sleeping 6-8 hours before waking up to eat (8 hours the night before last!).  Getting you back to sleep for a long period in the morning is tough though and usually after that long stretch you only sleep about 2-3 hours for two more times before you are up and this make me really really sleepy.  But then you will go back to napping after being up for an hour but by this time I am up and have already found a million things to do around the house so I can't nap with you.  This morning nap is usually really long and the last couple of days your afternoon nap has been pretty long too.  Every day it is something new so I know your schedule will change again before I know it so I am just taking these tired days as they come, knowing that we will all get rest again soon . . . maybe.

I can't believe you are 11 weeks old.  It sounds like such a short amount of time and I can remember when you were in my belly only 11 weeks ago, but then again it seems like you've always been here with us.  Almost 3 months old - it is going by WAY too fast.

We are getting the hang of nursing and you are gaining weight like a champ.  At your 2 month appointment (9 weeks) you weighed 11.4 pounds (57th percentile) and were 23 inches (70th percentile).  And your head measured 15.5 inches (63rd percentile - big like your daddy's).  You got 3 vaccines at that visit (one was oral and 2 were shots) and were such a good girl waiting in the waiting room for an hour before being seen, you didn't cry or get fussy once.  And when they gave you the oral medicine you were so happy, just smiling, talking and looking around until that first shot where you cried and cried, not knowing why anyone would hurt you like that.  It broke my heart to see you so sad and the 2nd one was even worse.  I held you and nursed you while your Nani got our things together, I am so happy she came with us that day.  That night you were so tired, went to bed so early and slept for 8 hours.  The next day you were fussy and I could tell that you didn't feel well and that lasted for about 2 days.  You were such a good girl, even so, and I felt so bad that you didn't feel good.  It's nice we don't have to worry about more shots for another month - phew!

(Let's not talk about how incredibly sad this is and how horrible I look.  It was a long wait and stressful!)

Daddy is sad that he hardly gets to see you during the week.  You are napping (or trying to nap) when he comes home, then he spends the evening with you and the weekends but misses you during the day.  I think he can't wait until November when he is home with you every day, he is so looking forward to it.  He loves the weekends where he can be with you all the time, and I love that he is home with us too, I miss him while he's at work too.  I wish we could all be home together all the time but we would have to win the lottery to make that happen.  :)

My favorite things you do lately are "the lip" when you get sad (see video below), how cuddly you are when we have to wake you up from a nap, how you smile and smile at us when you're being changed (still), how you are trying to laugh when daddy whistles and how you have just started to really sit up in your bumbo.  All of these make me so happy but so sad because I know you are growing up so fast.  I have had to put away some clothes already and you fit in less and less each day (that's why I have a terrible Instagram "closet" addiction at the moment) because you are just getting so big.  I even took out your infant insert from your car seat last night!  My little girl is growing up so fast and I am dreading going back to work and leaving you.  I will miss you so much.

You are still spitting up like crazy but I think it's getting a little better.  We bought gripe water and tried that, gas drops and Zantac but just the Zantac every day (3x 1ml) seems to make a difference.  No projectile spit up lately which makes me happy (because I can tell it hurts you!).  You burp often and loudly and I think it's good for you and makes your tummy feel so much better.  But the reflux is probably why you don't like tummy time and who could blame you!  You recently made a friend named Livvy who also has reflux and her mommy, Melissa, has helped me so much in suggesting a schedule for you to help you feel better.  It has helped and every day I wish that you start feeling better and better.

I can't give you enough kisses lately or smiles to try to make you smile.  I love to pet your head, your hair is so soft (even though there isn't that much of it!) and your skin is so soft too, I love petting you all over.  I have tried giving you a baby massage at night after your bath but you're not into it yet, maybe one day.  You are my best friend and I love spending the day with you.  When you wake up it is the best part of my day, even though it gets harder and harder keeping you entertained and busy.  You are the cutest thing I've ever seen in my whole life and when I look into your eyes it is magical.  Sometimes I just stare into them, seeing all that you see and seeing myself in you also.  It is the most incredible feeling and indescribable to someone who has never been a mother.  You make me so happy and it feels like you have been here with us forever, I don't remember life without you.

Little girl you are the light of our lives and we are so incredibly lucky to have you.  I love you so very much.


Video of "the lip."  When she's already in a sad or fussy mood, we can make her do it on command.  (Oh and I call Lemon "Mimi" for some reason.  I have no idea why.):


  1. Oh Allison! What a beautiful letter, as I brush tears from my cheeks! The "you are my best friend" part rings true. Our children become our best friends! For the last year while my husband has been living in Korea my kids are my light, my sun, my moon, my everything. Thank you for sharing. XO

  2. Tears of joy running down my face as I read this. I am so happy for you and you are so right about how much joy that baby brings all of us! I miss her smiles and holding her and hearing her talk to me this week while I've been so busy!

    She is a little "Lemon Ray" of sunshine, isn't she!