Friday, May 20, 2011

Old Friends & New Ones

So, school is out for summer.  This summer is especially awesome because we got our early and start a week later so it is technically a week longer than usual.  It is a much needed break from a very stressful year both personally and professionally.

I will start with an event that happened last weekend.  Just when I thought I was going crazy from work, a friend from long ago invited my girlfriends and I to her birthday party on the roof of a bar downtown that none of us had ever been to.  It was out of the blue but totally fun.  We got dressed up, took the light rail and saw two old friends and had some cocktails.  Ian came and looked very handsome and so did Jeremy, Christine's man friend (and baby daddy) of years and years, and the twinsies and our new friend Marisol came too.  The night started off pretty relaxed and then got kind of crazy, see pics below.  We all got pretty tipsy and the light rail/car ride home (thanks Jenny for driving!) was super funny.  It was a night of letting loose and letting go, and I'm so glad we all went.  (Thanks Jenny and Katie for taking pics!)

(All of the ladies with the birthday girl.)

(On the light rail with Jenny and Christine.)

(Us smiling like Christie smiles!)

(Hair blowing in the wind at the bar, super nice night weather-wise!)


(This is when the night turned a little crazy.)

(Waiting for the rail.)

(On the rail!)

This night was so needed, more than I ever told any of the girls.  I had a really rough school year that culminated into a pretty awful ending.  I experienced a lot of people's true colors, found out a lot of things about myself and others and just was really down about the whole year.  A lot of events depressed me and I became really disappointed in people in general.  Without going into detail this sums it all up:  I always try to find the good in people and expect the best out of everyone.  It's extremely disappointing when they prove you wrong, or when you think you know people and you find out you don't.  Sometimes people are just mean to be mean, even if you've always treated them nicely.  And sometimes, that's just who they will always be, no matter if you saw them differently or not.  

This was a very difficult realization.  I have a job that I love and that I look forward to going to every day, every day except for this year.  So many mornings I woke up dreading work, making myself sick, stressing and not being able to sleep.  I want to work somewhere where I can go and have a good time, not be afraid to see people or nervous about what drama will be starting that day.  Aren't teachers there for the kids?  I thought that was our main objective?  How can we teach students how to get along if we can't even get along ourselves?  

Some things happened that I wasn't proud of and it caused me to lose faith in people (and a bit in myself).  I became a different person this year, both because of my leadership position at school and because of blueberry.  I was hardened and didn't like who I'd become, I felt like a stranger in my own skin.  Before Katie's birthday party, I had even cried at my desk for 3 days in a row and I had had enough.  But, going to the party, drinking and dancing with old friends and new ones - really lifted my spirits.  The girls revived me and reminded me that work is work and isn't your life.  This year I let work become my life, I took it all home with me, something I vowed never to do.  I didn't have as much time for my friends, to focus on my relationship with my husband or even to let myself live a little.  People at work are not your friends, you actually have real friends who care about you and love you and want to be around you, friends that know you for who you really are and love you none-the-less, even if you've had a busy year. 

So, I drank and danced off my negativity and vowed to leave it all behind from that night forward.  And it worked, I feel more and more like myself every day.  It's hard to let it all go, hard to let go of the hustle, the craziness and the rushing around, the hurt feelings the disappointment - hard to just sit back and relax.  I'm re-learning it and it feels good.  I need it for my sanity (and for my future baby making!).

Here is the moment that school ended for me.  After Katie's birthday we still had a small school week left, with its own set of drama, but none of it affected me like the week before.  I had already started leaving it behind, and at this moment (with two new friends at dinner), with this margarita, I knew summer was finally on it's way . . .

Thank you Katie for inviting all of us to celebrate your birthday with you.  I needed it more than you know and was so happy I went.  Cheers to old friends and new ones . . . 


  1. When one is in a position of leadership, they are often judged by the behavior or success of those they lead. This is a mistake. Each individual must take responsibility for his or her own actions, his or her own motivations and his or her own success or failure. Ask yourself if you attacked your job with grace and dignity. Ask yourself if you wanted each individual to succeed. Ask yourself if you valued each person as unique and special. Ask yourself if you sought to compromise for the sake of the students without compromising your values. Ask yourself if you were in a difficult situation with people very set in their ways. If you can say yes to these questions, then you can be proud of what you did and move on to your next challenge.
    P. S. I think I know you well enough to know the answer to these questions.
    Have a great summer! Howie...

  2. Thanks Howie for your kind words, always. I kept saying those last couple of weeks: "I did my best. I burnt myself out both personally and professionally. I tried my hardest." And I truly believe that I did. I now can pass the torch on to someone else in hopes that they can make things happen, for our students' benefit. Thanks for always believing in me, it means so much. :)