1st Birthday Trip: Night Before

As you probably have already read, I am kind of in shock that in 4 days I will have a one year old daughter.  The time has flown by and tonight, after going through all of my pics on IG (for a birthday post, of course) there are so many moments that seem like they just happened yesterday, even though they were like 30 weeks ago.  People say time flies and I've said this many times myself, but the true meaning of this does not come until you are a parent.

This year has been absolute craziness.  I have felt so lost, confused, overwhelmed, sad, happy, full of joy, brought to tears, frustrated, tired, overcome . . . all of it.  Being a mother blesses you with all of these emotions and some days you want to shut the door to your house and run far away, never looking back.  But some days, you wake up in the morning before your baby wakes up and you can't wait until you hear her squawking in her crib.  Making it to a year as parents should be celebrated too.

We found out we were pregnant with Lemon at 4 weeks but I didn't announce it to the internet until 15 weeks.  When you have a loss, like we did, you are so scared the second time and all of the joy and fun is taken out of pregnancy and worry just settles in.  The whole time I was pregnant with Lemon, Ian and I told ourselves that if our baby is healthy and we make it to a year, we will celebrate with a birthday trip to Coronado Island in California.

Lemon was born late at night on July 2nd and we didn't get to leave the hospital until the 4th.  The 4th of July has always been my favorite holiday and last year I laid in bed listening to the fireworks outside, because I was so darn tired, and looking at my little babe sleeping next to me.  I did not mind missing the fireworks that year but I want to make sure that every year after Lemon sees them and knows that they symbolize a celebration for our family - a daughter that we thought we'd never get to have.

So, here we are, the night before our trip that we've dreamed of for a year, since Lemon was just a teeny tiny little guppy swimming around in my belly; and I just can't believe it.  I never thought we'd get here and here we are - it came faster than I was ready for but I am SO excited.  I thought I would blog our trip, since it means so much to us, and I am hoping to be able to blog every night while we are gone.  I want to look back on this trip as a celebration of a life, and of a family - ours.

It's 9pm and I just put the baby in her crib.  She fell asleep on me for the first night in a week and no crying has ensued yet so that's a plus.  We have a whole bunch of stuff to tetris into our Toyota Prius because we are staying 3 nights in a rented trailer on Silver Strand beach (I get to practice blogging from my phone!) and then 3 nights in our regular Coronado digs - Coronado Inn.  The trailer has no bedding/pillows so that's some extra stuff we don't normally pack, and we like to cook on trips so pans and a hot plate are also required.  My husband is an expert at packing things up (years of being in a band and packing up equipment) so I hope he can make it all fit.

I am worn out from packing all week (yep, moms pack all week long, sometimes even in their head!) and just want to go to bed but there is a bit left to do.  I hope that Lemon has fun on this trip, I hope she's ok in the car (she hasn't been on a road trip since 3 months), I hope she can nap/sleep when we are there, I hope we get some sleep and rest (before coming home to birthday party planning!), I hope we have fun as a family and I hope it is a trip that we can remember forever.  See, I worry even now, a mother never stops.

So, follow along, blog friends, on Lemon's first birthday trip.  I have waited a year and 9 months for this, and we leave tomorrow.  So so crazy . . .

Just some of her outfits!

Will it all fit?  Stay tuned!