Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas Little Blueberry

Today is Christmas and I have never felt so blessed in my whole life.  The past week has been rough, and I have purposefully put off blogging because of it.  But today, today I feel so incredibly lucky.

Let me take you back a week to some of my thoughts:
  • Am I going crazy?
  • Will I feel like this every day for the rest of my life?
  • Will I feel this crazy when blueberry comes?
  • Will I ever not be tired?
  • Am I depressed?
  • Will I ever feel like myself again?
  • Who the heck am I?
And some of my actions:
  • Crying in the car for 20 minutes after finding out I may need a root canal.
  • Crying over 4 times during the movie Love Actually (which I've already seen, many times).
  • Considering going to the tanning salon and just sticking my head in the tanning bed (so as not to hurt blueberry but still being able to tan my face).
  • Asking my friend to go and get me bronzer because I felt as though I could not leave the house (June - I owe you!).
  • Asking Ian to help me hang my clothes up because I felt as though I couldn't make it through hanging up about 5 things before wanting to pass out.
  • Laying in bed feeling like I'm on a boat and wishing that it would all just go away for just a minute.
  • Crying over 6 times during the movie 50 First Dates (this also wasn't the first time I've seen this movie).
  • Calling/texting my friends and telling them I think I'm going insane.
  • Laying in bed at night wondering if I am indeed going insane.

But, then it was over.  Just like that I feel normal again and have for the past two days.  Hormones are nutty and no one explains this to you.  And, everyone expects you to be "oh so happy" you are pregnant all of the time when sometimes you just feel so poopy.  I guess if someone explained this to me before hand it wouldn't have mattered, it's just something you have to experience I guess.  I am sure there will be more crazy days, but I also am sure I will get over them and see the light at the end of the tunnel again, just as I do today.

I spoke to God (0r Buddha or Allah, whoever is up there) last night before I went to bed and this is what I said:  "I am so grateful for everything in my life.  I am grateful for all of my family and all of my friends and can't believe how lucky I am to have such wonderful people in my life.  I am so blessed to have our home, our dogs, my husband, our jobs and our baby; and as much as I complain I am so happy that this is my life.  I consider myself the luckiest girl in the world and thank you for making it all happen."  I truly feel this way and today, on Christmas, it is the perfect day to share these thoughts with you.

These are the people (and dogs) that make my life so wonderful.  Merry Christmas to all, words cannot express how much I truly love you.  Thank you, thank you, thank you for loving us as much as we love you.

Only missing my dad today, it is my first Christmas without him in 31 years.  He is in Oregon, having fun with family friends, and I'm sure he will be back before I know it.

Also, my friend June was right when she said, "when you're pregnant you will fall in love with your husband all over again."  Here are some things my husband did for me this week when I wasn't feeling like myself:
  • Hung a blanket on our bedroom window so I could nap during the day.
  • Cleaned the whole house for my family to come over on Christmas morning.
  • Bought me reflexology socks that when you put them on they tell you where to rub for certain things (on the bottom of your feet).
  • Rubbed my feet multiple times (with and without the socks).
  • Helped me hang my clothes up.
  • Helped me grocery shop for baby friendly foods.
  • Made sure that wherever I was, I was ok; and left places when I wanted to leave if I wasn't feeling well.
  • Hugged and kissed me whenever I felt down.
  • Checked on me in the dentist parking lot when I was crying in my car.
  • Hugged me in bed at night when I didn't feel like myself.
  • Touches my belly and talks to our baby every chance he gets.
Ian is truly the best person I've ever met in my life.

Merry Christmas to all, today was definitely a great day.  Thank you God (or the "man in the sky") for everything in my life, I am truly blessed.

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